Sunday, March 8, 2009

Stop being so perfect


I was in relief society, when a friend of mine came in and plopped down next to me. She let out a big sigh and said something like…..”My biggest problem is that I compare my self to people….I look around this room and I feel so blah.” I took a look around the room and saw nothing but geriatrics. But I told her that you can’t know who a person is by what they seem like at church. We are all dressed up… behaving our best. We shower are kids for the first time that week. She went on to tell me that she feels overlooked in our ward. She was bothered that a new girl in the ward (who was only like 22) was called to be a relief society teacher…she said she had been on a mission and was older, yet she was not even considered. I told her she didn’t know that….maybe she was considered but she had a new baby…ect ..ect. Well the class started and the relief society president stood up and was introducing all the visitors ….she looked at my friend and asked her if she was new in the ward (she has been in the ward for about 2 years). I leaned over and said “I don’t think you were considered”

I felt bad for this friend, but the more I thought about it, I realized that I feel bad for woman in general. We do this to ourselves far too often….we compares ourselves to each other. I remember when I was in relief society in my San Diego ward, and a lady stood up and said she had visited a friend who home schooled her 7 children ….she said that her friend never raised her voice or got angry at her kids…and now because of her friends example she never raises her voice either. I remember thinking that that story was ridiculous….even if it was true that this lady NEVER raised her voice….do we really need to hear about it. Do we need to feel guilty that we yell at our kids from time to time? As Dr Phil would say “Let’s get real”! We are all flawed. Even our friend who seems to always have perfect parenting stories on her blog….is a brat sometimes. No matter how much facebook flirting someone does with their husband….they probably fight as much as you do with yours.

Take me for example…..here are some of my deep dark secrets that you can’t see when I am dressed up in my Sunday best.

  1. My kids say that after 8:30 that I turn into “MAD MOMMY”
  2. I feed my daughter dino nuggets far too often
  3. My left breast hangs a good inch lower than my right one.
  4. On any given Saturday you can find my oldest son in tighty whities and a red robe until about 1:00 in the afternoon. ( the robe isn’t always a part of this lovely lounge ware)
  5. I go to weight watchers.
  6. I sometimes turn a blind eye to the hours of Spongbob being watched.
  7. Cereal is considered an acceptable dinner.
  8. My sons fingernails sometimes look like the dragon lady.
  9. I have shoved chips under the couch when I heard my husband come home.
  10. I have taken a nap in the gym parking lot. (more that once)
  11. I roll my eyes at my husband WAY too often.
  12. I give crusties to skinny girls.

I know you all thought I was perfect….well the cats out of the bag now. So let’s all just chill out….lets embrace what we love about ourselves and not stress so much about the things we are trying to change. I also would like it if some of you ladies who read my blog could change some thing about yourselves to make me feel better.

Annie-Please stop keeping your house so clean, not one room in my house has ever been ½ as clean as your whole house on any given day. Also if you could try not to be such a talented singer, writer and anything else you try. ….that would be great. Ohh and stop making friends …it just puts a spot light on how socially retarded I am.

Lori- Please stop loosing weight and running all the time. If you run that marathon with Paul I will have to kill myself….Love ya.

Kristi- Please stop writing books….I mean really who does that.

Alisha- Please stop being the cutest pregnant lady on the planet. Oh and if you could stop being so charming all the time ….I have never known anyone so delightfully fun. One more thing no more pre pregnancy bikini pictures you look far to perfect.

Auntie Donna- Please stop being so on top of everything. If you could also stop taking such fantastic pictures that would be great….they just but my photo to shame….and you don’t want that, do you?

And to anyone else who reads my blog….just stop being too great. Gain a little weight, be a little lazy…..let things go a bit. Do it for me. ……Of course I don’t mean any of this, I want you all to stay just as you are, because you all inspire me. Your talents blow my mind and make me want to be better.

Here is one more flaw of mine, I never know how to end my blogs…..so good by!


10 comments:

Alisha Joy said...

Love it! Way to just let it all hang out. I've got some deep dark secrets but they are too terrible to blog or facebook. I'll tell you all about them in person and then I'll make you pinkie promise not to tell ANYONE EVER CROSS YOUR HEART AND HOPE TO DIE!!

Alisha Joy said...

PS. If you want to hear the truth being blogged by a Utah Mom check out this blog http://www.dooce.com/ I LOVE it. I have laughed till I cried at a few of her posts. Reading this blog is one of my guilty pleasures.

Anne-Marie said...

Sarah-this is your best post yet!! Keep these ones coming! I so' agree that we women are so hard on ourselves. And so funny how the perspectives range...YOU have always been my "perfect" friend! I guess our bubbles have been burst (you know I am faaaaar from perfect)

I was just about to write a post similar to this. About "perfection" and people's perspectives on us...

(dooce is a great writer. also very funny. she is also a ragingly bitter ex-mormon whom I think doesn't vary her perspective on us "perfect mormon" girls. which i think is a very slighted & stereotypical view.)

Anonymous said...

sara- you have to remeber that i have not always been skinny and running, however much i claim to love it, has devastated my knees beyond recognition. I limp all the time, and I run like a ninety year old, but your blog inspired me to post one like it on mine at some point, i think a few people that read it need to be reminded of what youve just reminded me. And if you have to know, i couldn't ask for a better sis-in-law, you are so beautiful inside and out... oh i wish i were there to give you some well deserved hugs! Love ya, Lori

Kristin said...

i love this post! and i wanted to add to the "she never yells at her 7 home schooled children" ... we don't know what goes on behind other's closed doors. sure, i can tell you that all is well in Damontropolis, but no one really knows. we all have good days and bad and it's good to know that you and other women out there are real!
love ya - post more like this SOON!

Tiffany said...

Well said. Thanks for sharing your secrets, all this time I thought you were perfect.

Well you are, in your own perfect way.

Pat & Donna said...

Sarah!!!
EXPOSED.... but the reason I feel the need to be on top of things is that I have all these amazing "older" siblings that are so put together and seeminly PERFECT.... YOUR MOM for example......... thanks for calling me out on the carpet and clearing the air! YOU ROCK woman this is one of the best blogs ever put up!!! We all have our secrets, and I too will fill you in when we are alone, I still hang on to my "IMAGE' I feel it's the perfect scam.....
HOPE TO SOON BE BRAVE AS YOU TO JUST lET GO AND "BE REAL"
love ya

Jensen Family :) said...

Great Post I loved it, you are such a fun person with a witty personality, your writing is so entertaining! I miss you!

Anonymous said...

Ah, what a great post Sarah! I missed you at book club. You always make me laugh so hard. I think you are an awesome girl and I'm glad we're friends (okay maybe just book club and facebook friends). I too often think everyone else's lives are perfect except mine.

Oh and I think I'm pretty much the laziest mom around. Oh well!

sweetmama.heather said...

I absolutely love your honesty! Thanks for sharing, and by the way, I always looked up to you in school. I thought you were amazing.